Dillematisme

dear blog,

suddenly, i missed my ex
i don't know why, it's just that, well i really missed the times when we were together, loving each other, holding hands..geez, i really missed him

well i've been waiting and waiting and waiting for chocolate, but the result was always be the same. kare pernah bilang ke gue kalo coklat itu bimbang, dia takutnya kalo jadian sama gue tuh cuma buat status doang. i mean, that's really messed up you know..

ya gimana yah, emang sih gue sayang banget parah sama coklat dan gue juga tau dia ngga sayang sama gue, tapi yaudalah kalo emang gitu kenyataannya, please banget jangan deket- deket sama gue lagiii, jangan ajak gue jalan lagi, jangan bikin gue tambah sayang sama lo lagii.
i mean, right now, waiting for you it's like waiting for rain in a drought, it's useless and dissapointing.
don't you care what i feel ? all those work that i've done just for you means nothing to you isn't it ?
if you don't love me, then please stay away from me..

when i look around, seeing other couples are loving each other, that's just making me sad a lil bit. i mean, when i look at the way they stare at each other, it's a look that i've never seen before. and all that i'm thinking is "look at them, they're so fall in love, if they can have that, then why can't i have that too ?"

that's all i really wanted, then i think of chocolate. i wanted to have all of that with him. but i don't see that look in his eyes. what i saw it's just nothing. i only saw friendship in his eyes. and the next thing is, i think of him, my ex. he sees me as if i was his love, but i didn't feel the sameway about him. but he's so nice to me, he holds me really tight and close, kissed me really soft and gently, he hold my hands like he wont let go of me.
but i end up falls in love with someone else that i didn't even know. the next thing i know, those happy and romantic times were all gone.

and now, i miss those times so badly. but it was all over, he is a totally different person to me right now and he has someone else.
padahal dulu dia pernah ngajak gue balikan, tapi gue sia-sia in itu cuma karna gue suka sama kaka kelas gue yang bahkan ga gue kenal orangnya. setelah itu gue sayang sama coklat, dan sekarang coklatnya ngga bisa ditebak dan gue butuh banget kasih sayang dari seseorang. gara-gara itu gue jadi kangen sama mantan gue..

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