I'm back to post my blog :)

Dear blog,

woooooooooooww it's beeeen soo loong since i post my bloog !
hi there, how are you ?
do you miss me ? i hope so hihi

it's been like 5 months i haven't post my blog.
i just remembered yesterday when my friend read my blog, about my past, and i was like "whoaa, did i really wrote this ? euuuugh -.-" and i dont know why i said that.

okay, i want to tell you something.
my grandmother just died on last saturday. she suffered from a heart attack and a kidney stone for 2 years, and she just died when me, my mother, my sister, my aunt and my cousins were in Bandung that day.
we went to Bandung on 25 december. when we gets there, we weren't feel good about almost everything.
i didn't shop at all
i didn't eat well
and most off all, we've all just stayed at the hotel, watching tv or playing my cousin's laptop, doing nothing. it's weird right ?
until that night, like 11 o'clock, i feel tired so i go to bed, but i can't sleep at all.
i did close my eyes, but i can't sleep well at all, but i forced myself to try to and it works a little bit though..

at 12.30, my aunt got a call from my other aunt in jakarta, who lives in my grandma's house.
she said grandma is suddenly hard to breathe and she's looking for her daughters and her son.
so my aunt was going to wake me up but her sister's suddenly called her again saying that grandma is no longer here. i was up when i heard that and i just said astaghfirullah loudly as i woke up..

we go home to jakarta immediatly as we cried and cried in the car.
we got home at 3 am. when i come in and saw my grandma lying in the bed, i cried.
she just lying in there, restless and so cold..
yet, i saw a smile on her face that makes me sadder.

so we just stayed up all night and reads al-qur'an and prey for my grandma.
i didn't eat anything until the next day, infact i only ate dinner the next day, so i lost like 2 pounds maybe, but i'm all fatten up right now though :p

well, things are quite usual at my grandma's funeral. everyone cried and sad until the body's down there, can't move at all..i find it scay.
many people come to the funeral but most of them are my grandma's friends. they were awfully sad, just like me. i can see it through their eyes

well, goodbye grandma..
rest in peace and i love you so much, grandmaa :(